ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
