Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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