He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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