Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
