you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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