If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
