had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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