You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
