Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish you could order shots online.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Randomize