he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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