It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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