It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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