people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
