there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize