It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
