Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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