i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
