So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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