My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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