What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
