Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
