So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
