Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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