You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize