No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
