I wanna passion pit in your ass
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
