I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize