I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
