I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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