she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I AM VODKA MAN
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
