I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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