wrigley field is MILF paradise
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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