Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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