sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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