a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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