arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
