We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
