Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
