I think my fart just growled at me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The air taste purple.
Randomize