How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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