dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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