If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
