Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
