It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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