I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
