I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
