he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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