Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
