I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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