3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
