So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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