whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
