Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
