Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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