East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
