brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
