I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
