When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
