pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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