Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize