i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
