I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
