But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
