Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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