apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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