last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
