As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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