weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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