I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
