I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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