thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
