I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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