i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
