WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
