i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
