Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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