the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
