Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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