I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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