Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
