Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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