i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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