Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize