Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
