We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I didn't notice because vodka
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
