I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
