Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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