I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
