Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
