an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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